Don’t give up on who you know you can be.


There is always room to improve things in your life.  It may be hard and even scary to act on that, but what a rush…that powerful feeling you get when you’ve accomplished an improvement, that you’d been longing for.  Give it your all even if that is only one step at a time.  You’re still moving forward!  👍

You are not alone!


Do you feel ashamed and alone because of your addiction? Like nobody would understand?


Well, you are not alone! Not if I can help it. Feel free to comment here about your fear of being alone…fear of thinking nobody will understand what you are going through. Or contact me personally and I will help any way possible. Your personal info will be strictly confidential. Don’t give up, as you never know what tomorrow will bring. Your help could be here starting now. Wherever you’ve been, I’ve probably been there and done it. No judgements here :)

When Crystal Meth takes over your life



Meet Mr. and Mrs. Crystal Meth.
I destroy homes – I tear families apart.
I take your children and that’s just a start.
I’m more valued than diamonds, more precious than gold.
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.
If you need me, remember, I’m easily found.
I live all around you, in school and in town.
I live with the rich, I live with the poor.
I live just down the street and maybe next door.
I’m made in a lab, but not one like you think.
I can be made under the kitchen sink, 
In your child’s closet, and even out in the woods.
If this scares you to death, then it certainly should.
I have many names. But there’s one you’ll know best.
I’m sure you’ve heard of me, my name is Crystal Meth.
My power is awesome, try me, you’ll see.
But if you do, you may never break free.
Just try me once and I might let you go.
But if you try me twice, then I’ll own your soul.
When I possess you, you’ll steal and you’ll lie.
You’ll do what you have to do, just to get high.
The crimes you commit for my narcotic charms,
Will be worth the pleasures you feel in my arms.
You’ll lie to your mother; you’ll steal from your dad.
When you see their tears, you must feel sad.
Just forget your morals and how you were raised.
I’ll be your conscience, I’ll teach you my ways.
I take kids from their parents; I take parents from their kids.
I turn people from God, I separate friends.
I’ll take everything from you, your looks and your pride.
I’ll be with you always, right by your side.
You’ll give up everything, your family, your home.
Your money, your true friend, then you’ll be alone.
I’ll take and take till you have no more to give.
When I finish with you, you’ll be lucky to live.
If you try me, be warned, this is not a game.
If I’m given the chance, I’ll drive you insane.
I’ll ravage your body; I’ll control your mind.
I’ll own you completely; your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I’ll give you when you’re lying in bed,
And the voices you’ll hear from inside your head.
The sweats, the shakes, and the visions from me.
I want you to know these things are gifts from me.
But then it’s too late, and you’ll know in your heart
That you are now mine and we shall not part.
You’ll regret that you tried me (they always do).
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen.
Many times you’ve been told.
But you challenged my power,
You chose to be bold.
You could have said no and then walked away.
If you could live that day over now, what would you say?
My power is awesome, as I told you before.
I can take your life and make it so dim and sore.
I’ll be your master and you’ll be my slave.
I’ll even go with you when you go to your grave.
Now that you’ve met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It’s all up to you.
I can show you more misery than words can tell.
Come take my hand, let me lead you to Hell.

Part 5 of My Story & Testimony is finally up! Please feel free to share my true story of addiction :)

Please click link to view My Story & Testimony.  And don’t forget, sharing is caring!  Please, please share this!  You never know who may be struggling with an addiction or just hard times in life.  Be the one to help spread the word, this is a really bad illness that needs to be placed in the light by us all.  Many many thanks to each and every one of you!


It's exhausting

An Addiction Story That Touches Home…Mom Left Job & Fell Into Alcoholism…Must Watch!

If you have not read My Story & Testimony, please click this link to read.

If you have a problem with alcoholism, it doesn’t matter if you drink half of the day or all day, if your slurring your words or not. At the end of the day, you still feel the same. Your ashamed, you live with guilt and you mask it with denial. These parties in the park…they are real. And they considered “normal stress relievers” by many. And that is terrifying.

What my rehab experience was like

I’ve been asked what my recovery was like at the rehab that I attended, so here goes.  The first five days of my recovery, I was in detox.  I was watched by medical staff, which is highly advised if you are a heavy drinker/user or have drank/used for a long period of time.  Mine was completed in a hospital setting as the detox could be life threatening.  Tully Hill, NYIt is at that point, you can be given medication and nutrients to help you through the withdrawals and recovery process.  Those days are spent mainly on flushing out any toxins from your body, safely.  Thereafter, I was given direction by the medical staff and councilors at the rehabilitation facility only.  The first few days were a bit hazy and I don’t remember them all too much.  Those were the days that I was taking it all in.  The withdrawals of nights sweats and insomnia were still pretty bad in the beginning, but there was really nothing I could do about that.  Except drink fluid and wait for it to flush completely from my system.  I shared a room with one other person.  She was older than I and had children my age.  She was a hairdresser.  Very sweet and outgoing.

Each and every morning began at the same time as schedules are very important in rehab.  Get up, get any medication you need, check your blood sugar if needed or partake in a short physical exam.  Then, off to a brief meeting and meditation.  Thereafter, breakfast is served (I certainly did not go hungry).  Although, there is no caffeine, at all.  Ladies always went first for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Sometimes you’d hear groaning and complaining from the men, but I assure you, it taught them patience…and taught us ladies, that it is indeed, okay to be respected in that manner.  Men sat with men…women sat with women…PERIOD.  The no fraternizing rule applied big time.  We were not there to find our sole mates, we were there to find our soles.  I saw people thrown out for breaking that rule.  I can only hope they are sober today.  Here is where we ate:


Throughout each day, we attended numerous group sessions, according to the therapy we were working.  This was the one place men and women could speak to each other.  One councilor holds and leads the group session.  We also had a choice of other activities, such as meditation or rec.  I chose rec as my sitting still abilities were not so good, which is ok.  Rec always involved some type of physical or emotional engagement, whether it be a game or a walk outdoors.


The first few days, we had no contact with anyone outside of the facility.  We were able to write and mail letters only.  After that, we had a very brief period of time each day to make a phone call, which we had to sign up for.  I used it to call my babies.

I was definitely in a haze the first few days, but I eased into it, getting more comfortable each day.  I started making friends and developed a couple of pretty close relationships with other women there.  It wasn’t all that easy though, as one day they were there and the next they could be gone.  Making friends was not a top priority there.  I had a wonderful primary counselor by the name of Anna.  She was around my age.  She was also a family member of someone effected by addiction.  All the counselors there have somehow been affected by addiction, whether it be themselves or loved ones.  I loved that about the place.  They seemed to be more in touch with my reality, which was a bonus.  I also grew to really enjoy my time with another counselor there, Laura and a nurse, Sue.  When people touch your heart as much as the three of these ladies did mine, it is very hard to forget them.  They will forever be in my hearts.  Whether I ever see or speak to them ever again, or not.

We often went out on short trips to AA or NA meetings around the area, which, if you were lucky, they would have real caffeinated coffee ;)  I enjoyed going to hear what they had to say, hearing the stories and even listening to some of the ramblers.  It was certainly interesting.  We were warned also, to keep to ourselves outside of the building.  Apparently, drug dealers will sit outside of these meeting places at times and wait for their pray, the weak addict.  Doesn’t surprise me.

I had begun to find and remember the old Heather.  The girl who was at one time, happy.  Someone who enjoyed a good laugh and good company.  And it felt amazing, to say the least!  And boy, did I have a couple of good laughs.  The belly hurting kind, that feel so bad, yet so good.  Those were the first times, that I actually could feel the feeling of happiness.  I had forgotten what it felt like.

Of course, there is always one person who has to rain on your parade.  My laughter was apparently too happy for a rehab.  According to another patient, that is.  Just couldn’t understand how I was so happy.  They actual thought I was on drugs!  Enough for the staff to give me a “random” test.  The test came out completely normal of course.  Not to be cheesy, but I was high on life at that time!  Then, it was brought to my attention that they thought I was just not taking rehab seriously.  Funny thing was, it was them who wasn’t taking it seriously.  Because, if you are, then you are not focused on what others are doing or not doing.  End of story.  And I do not regret enjoying myself while I was there!

I had a couple of really special moments when I was there.  One began with giving my life “story.”  During which you are given a short amount of time to “let it all out.”  Everyone does it once, before they are discharged.  I was nervous and figured I’d forget what I wanted to say.  And, I did.  That’s because I said a lot of things that I didn’t expect to say.  There is something about reliving your life like that.  You get drawn into your own story, I suppose.  Suddenly, you’re bringing up things that are so hurtful.  Things that have caused you pain and shame.  Here they were, out in the open.  The things you thought you had got away from, would now be flowing from your mouth like lyrics to your favorite song.  And before you know it, it’s over.  The day after my life story, my counselor called me in her office.  She said that she heard about my story.  Normally, your primary counselor is the one running the meeting that day, but she could not be there.  I thought, “okayyy.”  And she continued to tell me that the counselor that was in there the day before, called my counselor at home.  That nobody has ever called her like that.  She told me that my story affected this woman so deeply, that she just had to call.  That it was amazing.  How do ya like that, huh?  The life that I lived.  The times I’d been hurt over and over again.  The joy that was ripped from me at times throughout life…was amazing to someone else.  How wonderfully good is God?  Really though?  The second was just from a small comment made by yet another counselor, whom also ran a big part of the program.  Someone who I thought didn’t really care for me.  And quite honestly, I didn’t care for them.  But, as we all sat speaking one day, she looked at me and asked, “do you know what you’d be really good at?”  I responded, “not really, what?”  “A counselor,” she said.  So, the woman running the show over there, who I felt could live without me, was now praising and encouraging me???  Yep, God is good.   HE KNOWS how to plant seeds people!

And that’s where it all began!

Tully Hill, NY

My NOPE presentation final draft…..

Starting Over Sober (S.O.S):

I’m sharing this post from a young woman, who lost the most important man in her life and her daughters, to addiction. The reason I wanted to share this was because 1) it hit very close to home and 2) I want others to see what addiction can and does look like. We’re no longer hiding under bridges or or standing on street corners. We are addicts at work, addicts at church, we are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers…we are everywhere! We have hearts, we love, we feel pain, we make mistakes. We are human. And we need to be aware that this CAN happen to any of us. We need to stop hiding this illness…we need more Emily Capizzi’s out there!

Originally posted on EmilyCapizzi22:

Hi, my name is Emily Capizzi and I’m here to tell you a little about myself and my life. I can tell you one thing and that is I never imagined myself up here talking to you all about drugs and the devastating effects it has on not just the addict, but to every single person that is in that addicts life.

In 1994, I was a senior in high school, 18 years old and I was happy and outgoing. I had the “white picket fence” dream in my head. I was dating the boy I had a crush on for some time and he was gorgeous, athletic, sweet, charming but by no means romantic as I quickly learned but he was mine and he loved me. His name is Tommy Capizzi and he was the funniest person I had ever met. Tommy could find humor in any situation. Although…

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Going to check out the movie Lipstick and Liquor & will update with a review!

Lipstick & Liquor explores the secret in the suburbs. A growing number of women are abusing alcohol and becoming alcohol dependent. Excessive alcohol use is the third leading cause of preventable death among women between the ages of 35 and 55. It is a contributing factor in one-third of suicides, one-fourth of accidental deaths and one-half of traffic deaths.

The documentary begins with the haunting story of Julie Kroll, a 39-year old suburban mother from Woodbridge, Virginia. Julie went missing when she stumbled away from a minor car crash in the dead of winter, leaving behind her eight-year-old daughter. An open container of alcohol was in the car. While family and friends searched desperately, a seemingly indifferent police department and a blinding blizzard hampered attempts to find her.

As the story develops, Lipstick & Liquor introduces us to four remarkable women who have faced their own battle with alcohol addiction. Each one has an amazing story that will resonate with viewers and, perhaps, touch other women who may recognize themselves in these heartfelt accounts. The hard work of recovery along with the gift of love, can provide inspiration and hope to countless women caught in alcohol’s destructive web.

As women take on increasingly more demanding roles, they are feeling greater pressures at work and home. Adding to their burden is the desperate need to be the perfect mother, the perfect wife and daughter, the perfect everything.

Lipstick & Liquor seeks to shake off the stigma associated with women alcoholics and to provide understanding and insight into the struggle to stay sober. The documentary includes expert commentary from medical researchers, addiction specialists, and authors who shed light on the conditions impacting the increase in alcoholism among American women.